Unable to Maintain a Healthy Relationship

• Addicted to a person

• Adult Children of Alcoholics

• Having a Parent With A Mental Disorder/Bipolar, depression, anxiety

• Resulting in an Inability to experience a happy-healthy intimacy in a relationship

        

      You know you're going to get hurt; the person's going to hurt you because they're not emotionally invested in you and yet you harass them endlessly yearning for an intimacy with them but at the same time if you were to get that intimacy you would be extremely anxious, uncomfortable, feel smothered and try to push them away with mood swings, always being angry/sad, picking arguments over everything, blaming them for your unhappiness. 

          Then, when they leave, you are desperate to get them back. You feel like they were the reason you were ever "happy" and without them you have nothing. You rationalize all of the arguments, lies, sadness and lack of intimacy in a way that seems as though they weren't that bad. The relationship was good and you'll never be happy again. The anger & anxiety kick in and you do everything possible to try to get them back but they've had enough. Emotional roller coasters are difficult to handle for anyone but you see it as they just never really loved/cared about you at all or they wouldn't have left. 

              In reality, you needed to make yourself happy and by doing that would have changed the whole dynamic of the relationship. So, before the depression sets in from accepting the relationship has ended, look at it as a new beginning.

 

        This is a chance to do what makes YOU feel good. When you're addicted to someone everything you do is for and about them so you stop doing the things you used to and sometimes even forget what it is that you like. Luckily, you're still alive and that means you can figure these things out. Be the person who you would be attracted to and want to be with.

                 I know, I want someone who is ambitious. I'm very attracted to someone who is passionate about what they do. When you find something you are confident doing that radiates and attracts people and that is the key to being in a happy-healthy relationship. To be together as one but to be 2 individuals first.