How to Achieve a Healthy Relationship-Needs

Abraham Maslow; Hierarchy of Needs

Famous for Creating this Model

Transcendence

Helping others to self-actualize

Self-actualization

Personal growth, self-fulfillment

Esteem Needs 

Achievement, status, responsibility, reputation

From self and others

Belongingness & Love Needs

Family, affection, relationships, work, groups

To be loved

Safety Needs (Security)

Protection, security, order, law, limits, clothing, income & freedom from fear

Physiological Needs (Survival)

Food, water, air, sleep, sickness, poverty, imminent danger

**The idea of this model is that the lower four levels are our basic life needs that must be met. Then the top level only can be achieved when all of the other levels are mastered or entirely satisfied.

Does Beautiful Equal Crazy?

I have heard, on more than one occasion, the most attractive girls are "crazy." This opinion seems to have become more and more popular.

I could speculate as to why this is a common belief but it would only be an observation and I only wish to point out this theory, not to add commentary (maybe in another post). So, I will just post what I have found in my search.

This tweet by 50 Cent led me to investigate this theory further.
*This Tweet was Re-tweeted 208 times and was Favorited 68 times.

"Man she so fine oh my ... She probably crazy..."

Unfortunately, this isn't the first tweet about a persons attractiveness being equal to them being crazy that has been popular.

*This Tweet received 7 Re-tweets and 1 Favorite.

"The fine ones are the crazy ones."

Research has led me to find...

This interesting and informative article, The Hot/Crazy Scale – Just because she’s hot, doesn’t mean she’s worth it, which provides wonderful insight as to the way men group women by the level of their hotness verses the level of their craziness.

"For one, the hotter a girl is, the crazier she is allowed to be."

*Great Visual Aids & References available too!

There have been many references in television and movies about "girls being crazy" and "she's hot so be careful" so this belief seems to be here to stay. 

"How I Met Your Mother - Barney: Hot-Crazy Scale"

From Urban Dictionary:

Hot-Crazy Scale 125 up, 11 down
The problem is certain women’s increase in physical attractiveness has been disproportional to their increase in psychosis.

Some women are okay being labeled as "crazy."  For instance, Rihanna recently tweeted "I'am crazy and don't pretend to be anything else." 

So where does this leave beautiful women who aren't actually "crazy?" If they are confident and embrace the idea they are "crazy" they seem to do fine. 

Shakira - Loca (Crazy) "I'm crazy, but you like it..."

On the other hand, if they are just a victim of a stereotype that isn't true they are stuck having to constantly reassure people they are stable individuals. Unfortunately, this leaves little room for a person to act in a manner that doesn't fit the other persons idea of "sane."

Whether you are an attractive female who is crazy or being thought of that way, be yourself. Do not let anyone tell you how you should or should not act or be. Who you are and what makes you different is what makes you special. What one person thinks is "crazy" another may love! There is only one YOU and, crazy or not, you're BEAUTIFUL! :)

Are you being taken advantage of?

      Dr. Phil has just presented excerpts from his new-upcoming book titled "Life Code, The New Rules for Winning in the Real World" and it sounds like a must-read!
After watching today's episode of Dr. Phil (Life Code: The New Rules for Winning in the Real World) (aired November 13, 2012), I am excited to read his book to find out more about the characteristics it takes to be successful.
     I admit, I wasn't a fan of Dr. Phil until recently I started to find some of his episodes intriguing  After watching today's episode and learning the qualities of "baiters" and "successful people" I am inclined to give this book (and him) a new chance in providing quality advice and useful information.

Here are some excerpts from today's episode, which are also from his book:
Life Code: The New Rules for Winning in the Real World

Evil Eight (Common Traits of "bad guys" & "Users" in Life)

1. Infiltrate your life
2. Create conspiratorial confidants
3. Depend on approval
4. Build a file
5. Misdirect and obfuscate
6. Blame others
7. Lie
8. Frauds/Cheaters

Sweet 16 (What Successful People Do)

1. Defined Image
2. Perception of uniqueness
3. Play "big"
4. Accept praise
5. Become essential
6. Know your real currency
7. Always have a plan
8. Keep things "close to the vest"
9. Investigatory Mode
10. Behave your way to success
11. Keep options open
12. Master the system
13. Nucleous of supporters
14. Deal with the truth
15. Use others' ego
16. Pick your battles

The book has just been published and is only available via (his sons publishing company site): http://www.thebooknook.com/life-code-book.html#det 
Dr. Phil mentioned the book will be available from other sources, sometime after January.

Can Long Distance Relationships Work?

How Long Distance Relationships Happen

Due to the increase of the availability of online social media and WiFi ready electronics, more people are meeting online. It is easier to connect with a person online due to the ease and access to millions of people. Furthermore, there are websites specific to any category/interest you can imagine. This can lead to chatting with people who have similar interests or hobbies. Taking all of this into account, it is not wonder people will find connections.

Another avenue into a long distance relationship could be if have already met or were together and the other person moved away. Whether you have met someone, were together already then moved or have met online, the outcome is the same. You have found yourself in a long-distance relationship.

How to Make Sure Your Long-Distance Relationship Lasts

• Firstly, I will state, everyone is different. The needs, wants and desires of someone may be different from what another person wants. Also, everyone's situation is different. That being said, here are a few tips that are helpful to keep a long distance relationship going. 

• Make a daily or weekly date time where you both will be able to see each other. You can use a video service; iPhone Facetime, skype, msn, yahoo have video chatting options (all free). There are many more options too. 

• Make sure you talk every day, on the phone or through text messaging. On the phone is the best but if you can only text, one or two days, at the most, then that's better than nothing. It is important to stay connected. 

• Try to plan trips to see each other. Setting an actual date and having that to look forward to will help ease the anxiety of not seeing each other. 

• Send them something "meaningful" in the mail. This can be anything that is significant to you and that person. Examples are: a postcard from your favorite restaurant, a card with your perfume/cologne, a CD, key chain from a special place. Use your imagination;) 

• If you're a girl = Send him pictures of you at random times. They do not have to be promiscuous. Guys are attracted by what they see, so keep your image in his head.

• If you're a guy = Send her a sweet message. Anything from "Thinking of you," Wish you were here," Dream about me," "Good morning beautiful" etc. Women just need to know you're on their mind and they'll feel good. 

How Long Can A Long Distance Relationship Last?

I think many of you know that only you can answer that question but there are a few tips that can help.

Maybe:

If you feel the other person is drifting away - make a trip to see them as soon as possible; talk to them about your feelings, see their point-of-view. It is better to know.

The timing just isn't right - their busy with work or you're busy with school; the problems can cause a separation. Try taking a "break" to see how you feel. Sometimes, knowing you're without that person is enough to bring you closer or farther apart. Either way, it can bring clarification.

No:

Sometimes, being away from someone for too long can make them forget about how you were when you were together. They can find themselves getting attention from people who are closer to them, who share their interests, hobbies or work. This can, sadly, lead to an end to any long distance relationship the person had.

The economy is bad and it is expensive to move. Sometimes, the only thing that prevents a great long-lasting relationship is the lack of finances it takes to see the other person.

It is unfortunate society has turned into a culture of “singles.” Meaning, it is rare to find loving, long-lasting relationships, much-less, long, long-distance relationships. Most of the time, it is difficult to trust the other person. They have either shown signs of being unfaithful or have already and the relationship is beyond difficult after that.

Yes:

Once in a while, true love happens and the people who were apart come together and achieve an ever-lasting love. This happens when two people are invested in each other, have/had a common goal for what they want in the relationship and for the future, together. One person moves to be with the other or the person returns from school/work and things are better than ever.

I, personally, have witnessed all of these examples in my life. Love is difficult. Relationships are difficult. So when you find someone who knows and accepts those difficulties, you have found a good one:)

Unable to Maintain a Healthy Relationship

• Addicted to a person

• Adult Children of Alcoholics

• Having a Parent With A Mental Disorder/Bipolar, depression, anxiety

• Resulting in an Inability to experience a happy-healthy intimacy in a relationship

        

      You know you're going to get hurt; the person's going to hurt you because they're not emotionally invested in you and yet you harass them endlessly yearning for an intimacy with them but at the same time if you were to get that intimacy you would be extremely anxious, uncomfortable, feel smothered and try to push them away with mood swings, always being angry/sad, picking arguments over everything, blaming them for your unhappiness. 

          Then, when they leave, you are desperate to get them back. You feel like they were the reason you were ever "happy" and without them you have nothing. You rationalize all of the arguments, lies, sadness and lack of intimacy in a way that seems as though they weren't that bad. The relationship was good and you'll never be happy again. The anger & anxiety kick in and you do everything possible to try to get them back but they've had enough. Emotional roller coasters are difficult to handle for anyone but you see it as they just never really loved/cared about you at all or they wouldn't have left. 

              In reality, you needed to make yourself happy and by doing that would have changed the whole dynamic of the relationship. So, before the depression sets in from accepting the relationship has ended, look at it as a new beginning.

 

        This is a chance to do what makes YOU feel good. When you're addicted to someone everything you do is for and about them so you stop doing the things you used to and sometimes even forget what it is that you like. Luckily, you're still alive and that means you can figure these things out. Be the person who you would be attracted to and want to be with.

                 I know, I want someone who is ambitious. I'm very attracted to someone who is passionate about what they do. When you find something you are confident doing that radiates and attracts people and that is the key to being in a happy-healthy relationship. To be together as one but to be 2 individuals first.

What is a Love Addict?

**A MUST READ >> What is a Love Addict?:

How to Read Someones Body Language

     There are many different languages people can use to communicate, not all of them are verbal. A person can also communicate through body language. I was watching a television program on the history channel Monday night titled Secrets of Body Language and I learned that more than half of all language is non-verbal. Body language can be in all different forms such as how your face muscles move when you speak or the way you position your body when you are talking to someone. They can also be conscious or subconscious. Also a person’s body language can be a very useful tool in lie detection.

     The use of body language with your face to communicate emotions is one example. There are universal facial expressions that seem to be the same everywhere, such as happy, sad, mad, content, surprised and scared. These seem pretty obvious; normally anyone can tell when a person experiences these emotions because everyone does. For instance when a person is happy their facial muscles tense in an upward direction. In contrast when a person is sad their facial muscles relax and go in a downward direction. Then when a person is angry all of the muscles in their face seems to tense up. Furthermore when a person is surprised or scared their mouth tends to open and their eyes become wider.

     People also use body language to communicate consciously. For instance when a person points at something, they are saying look there. Or when a person uses sign language they can communicate everything without saying anything. Another example would be mimes; they portray actions without saying anything also. An additional case in point would be when a student is in class and they raise their hands, they are communicating that they have a question. Or when a person uses their fingers to show an amount, or form a peace sign. 

     One example of the use of body language to communicate subconsciously would be your level of comfort in a situation. For instance, when you are talking to someone you can pretty much tell if a person is uncomfortable or nervous because they fidget and move around a lot. A person also has a tendency to cross their arms when they feel insecure as to cover or shield themselves. On the other hand if a person is calm and feel comfortable with you they will lean back and their body will relax. Also if a person has their hands behind their back they seem to be portraying that they have nothing to hide. 

     You can also usually be able to determine if a person is lying by paying attention to their body movements or gestures. One thing a person has a tendency to do is to touch their face when they are lying, such as rubbing their nose or covering their mouth. Also their nostrils seem to flare and they can’t look at you straight (Secrets of Body Language, 2008). Also when a person is lying you can often tell because they become nervous and move around a lot more than usual. When a person is lying they change their body movements and become nervous and change their posture until you believe what they are saying and then they will relax. The best indicator of a lie would be to change the subject quickly and pay attention to the person’s body movements. If they suddenly seem more relaxed when you change the subject chances are that they were lying.

     There are many different ways a person can communicate without the use of words. Often your body contradicts a person’s words. Mostly, people have a tendency to pay more attention to a person’s verbal communication, but actually people communicate more using their body. Overall, it would be more beneficial to pay more attention to a person’s body language when communicating.

Long Distance Relationships: 40 days to focus on our future, long distance relationship, snail mail

Long Distance Relationships: 40 days to focus on our future, long distance relationship, snail mail:

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